BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE FROM GUTHEMA

Thank you Haminia, beautiful soul,

I fully understand you and your mind-heart. In the west when you think of love, they think of sex. Love is a highly misunderstood concept. In my cultures when you say “I love you” to someone who is not your spouse or girlfriend or boyfriend, it is taken for sex or romantic love. So you don't say I love you to anyone you know.

Pure love, the one we are talking about is still so far way. I posted something like this on my fb a while ago: “love is born where expectation ends”. One friend of mine wanted to pick a fight with. The good news is we are thousands of miles apart from each other. All I was trying to say was “we don’t have to expect something in return when we give”. This is because pure love does not know profit.

Pure love is unconditional. It is not a love of attachment. Two people meet and they think they love each other. After two weeks or months they start to fight and they call it love. This is not love. It is infatuation. It is delusional. Take marriage for example. They marry each other and they expect a lot from one another. They say to each other, “Please complete me, I am not complete enough. I have been waiting for you…”. This is a very hard commitment. No body completes any body because we are already complete. We are just here to share this completeness with each other. We’re to accept each other as we are. We are not going to change each other.

Marriage is not formatting someone. It is accepting someone. It is not judging or labeling or modifying. It is just accepting YOU. This is what the mind does not understand.

I have now lived in the states for 10 years and I have seen so much dysfunctional lifestyle. People are lonely and disconnected and unhappy. They live in a home that is worth half a million dollars by the lake and yet they not happy. 65-70% of married people have been divorced and kids grow up with a single parent and when they grow up, they repeat the same story.

There is so much domestic abuse. Children are abused by their alcoholic mothers or fathers and any other relatives. And there is so much consumerism. They accumulate things they never use. They buy and buy and yet there is so much depression and sorrow in their lives.

A few months ago the city where I work invited me to give a talk as an immigrant. I accepted the invitation. One of the questions I was asked was this: “If you have the power, what do you want to change in America?” I told them frankly, without sugarcoating. There is so much freedom here and one can live his or her dream but there is so much loneliness at the same time.

I see people in the street talking to themselves or sitting in a computer all day. They are good with machines but not with other human beings. So much disconnectedness from oneself and from God and from others too. Spirituality suffers a lot.

I see hundreds of people coming to the library not to check out library materials but to talk to someone or just to see life in the library. An old man once said to me, “You know my son, my wife died years ago. All my friends have died. I live with a cat and she is very noisy. I am tired of her. I come to the library to see young people like you…”

Haminia dear, you’re very beautiful and I love you the same way I love the moon and the ocean and the sun and the starts ….

Guthema Roba,
15 August 2010